Psycho Analysis
by JAy4
Summary: The children explore their reasons for piloting Eva through some intense therapy...... * Chapter 3 uploaded *
1. Chapter 1: First session

-Disclaimer- I do not own Evangelion or any of its characters, Evangelion is the property of Gainex. This Fan-fiction has been created for entertainment purposes only.   
  
***********************************  


Psycho Analysis

  
Chapter 1 Session One  
  
-The concrete jungle promptly named Tokyo 3 was busy, like any other day. The Japanese City was in a state of tranquillity, the sun was shining brightly and the people were happy. Well if you didn't count the numerous craters surrounding the city and the smoking remains of the 9th angel Materiel……....other than that, everything was just dandy and the city never looked better.   
  
-The city was in constant construction, so the buildings were either newly built….….a pile of rubble or..…..under repairs. It just so happens that a relatively new building was finished just a few days prior to the angel attack and was feeling the after affects of the battle……..(Meaning it looked like half of it was stepped on) The small six story structure was on the corner of 5th street and Main street and that was where a mid-sized blue sports car was headed ……..  
  
"Misato remind me again why we're going there..…" The pilot of unit one asked.  
  
"Shinji let me put it into simple terms….…The United Nations want the pilots to be more effective…..They want the pilots to be able to focus on piloting and nothing else…..…and……..."   
  
"………and what?………. Misato, how is psychiatric therapy suppose to improve my piloting….…? I'm not crazy Misato."   
  
" Shinji " she said, " It's more like a family counseling………… this way you guys can solve all your problems……… which will allow you to focus on defeating the angels…………"  
  
" Wait….….did you say FAMILY?"   
  
" That's right Shinji your father is gonna be there."  
  
"Misato……...I'm scared……"  
  
" Aw..…..Don't be scared Shinji….…I mean, what could go wrong?…...."  
  
***********************************  
  
-The blue sports car parked directly in front of the entrance to the building and out of it came four people, and they began walking towards their destination……..well make that three people dragging Shinji to the 5th floor of the building.  
  
" Asuka, I can't believe you knocked him out………I mean he was just afraid to see his father," Misato said as she was reading a map of the building layout.  
  
" Hey he wouldn't cooperate….….and Shinji didn't mind……isn't that right Shinji? " She said, while dragging the limp body of Shinji Ikari.  
  
-The only response the unconscious boy gave Asuka was some random babbling and he was leaving a trail of saliva on the floor.  
  
" Pilot Sorhyu, I hardly believe that Pilot Ikari enjoyed the experience of feeling the stop sign beaten into his face" Rei said in her usual monotone voice.  
  
"Hey, I'm not the one who dropped him and let him fall three flights of stairs!" the red head argued.  
  
"Pilot Sorhyu, you were the one who dropped Shinji three flights of stairs and shortly after you had a good laugh about how funny it was to see him wake up halfway, only to become unconscious again after you threw your shoe at him."  
  
" Hey you have to admit that was a one in a million shot…….and did you see his face it was like he was sucking on a lemon……..talk about a Kodak moment!"  
  
"Lucky for you Asuka…….." Misato said, while she was still fidgeting with map. " …..…there's a First Aid Center in this building…..….that is if I can find it on this map……."  
  
"Major the First Aid Center is located in suite 27 on the 5th floor."  
  
"Rei, how in the world did you know that?……..I never even showed you the map……"  
  
"I memorized the blue prints using the Nerv database and the sign there simply implies that suite 27 is the First Aid Center"  
  
"Oh…..….for a second there I thought you were a…….."  
  
" I'm-m not a clone ….…..What makes you say that!"   
  
-For a brief moment the Pilot of Unit zero, who was usually, calm and reserved became brash and completely out of character. All eyes were now focused on the girl with the blue hair, who was looking very nervous at the moment.   
  
"Rei………..I never said you were a clone……..is there something we need to know?"  
  
"…..…uh….…u-uhh…..."  
  
-Throughout her life, the 1st child had a personality of a block of ice, showing little or no emotion. In her case she was only human (errr…. half human?) and she couldn't bottle up her emotions forever…..and so the ice melted and she snapped.  
  
"You must be hearing things!…...i never said that!…..…hehehheh….." She said with a nervous chuckle.   
  
"So what DID you say Rei…….?" The major implied.  
  
"Well what I said was………."  
  
"Spit it out First child, are you trying to hide something?" the second child questioned,   
  
"Uh……...I-I feel alon-e……....yeah that's what I said."  
  
"Okay, guess I heard you wrong……...now lets get Shinji patched up" Misato said while walking towards suite 27"  
  
" What!….…that's it!….…..your not going to look into this any further??!"  
  
"Asuka…….…do you realize that I haven't had any alcohol for three days now………..?" she said with a twitch in her eye.  
  
" What does that have to do with…….…"  
  
-Asuka Langley Sorhyu was fearless and had a good reason to be unafraid. She had the giant bio-mechanical monstrosity known as Eva at her disposal. She wasn't stupid though and she knew that you should never get in the way of someone in withdrawal.  
  
" I mean let's go get him patched up!"  
  
" THAT's what I thought now LETS GO!"   
  
-When Misato didn't get her daily dose, she gets mood swings ever constant and ever present mood swings………  
  
-To understand why Misato stopped drinking, we have to a look at what happen three days ago……  


  


###### Flashback -Three days ago-######

  
  
"URPPPPP!!……...That's the way to start the day!"  
  
-Sighing as he entered, the third child watched as his would-be guardian downed two more cans of beer.  
  
"Misato I bet you can't go one day with out drinking…….."  
  
"What's that you *hic* say?…….a challenge?" the major drunkenly said,  
  
"Huh?……..did I say that out loud?……...oh, well I was just kidding……"  
  
-When The Operations director was drunk, she has what's called, selective hearing……..errr……..well something like that……  
  
"OH! So you want to raise the stakes! Fine with me! If I can't go one *hic* month without alcohol………  
  
" Misato I never said ………"  
  
"So, mister big shot is already claiming victory!…….well starting now…...No more beer!…..…I am so confident I'll win……. lets say…….…if I lose *hic* you can have my car Shinji! AND if I win I get to have your car! Hah! *hic* "   
  
"Uhh ……..but I don't have a ca-………I mean DEAL!"  
  


###### End Flashback ######

  
  
"SO ARE there ANYMORE objections!" the major said in the most frightening way imaginable   
  
-Asuka and Rei were trying their best to avoid eye contact with the major but to no avail the icy death glare she was giving could pierce through anything. The best way to describe it would be to compare it to the Lance of Longinus as it stabbed your heart with excessive force.  
  
"WELL!…….ARE there ANYMORE objections!" she said carefully sounding out each syllable.   
  
-The two Eva pilots answered as quickly as possible trying to avoid the wrath of the major Katsuragi and hopefully getting on her good side.  
  
" .…..nope….." the two answered  
  
"Well that's just spiffy…now lets go…... times a wasting……" Misato said in a cheerful tone.  
  
-Knowing that her mood could easily shift back, the two girls continued to avoid eye contact and kept their mouths shut. They then headed towards suite 27, all the while still dragging the young Shinji Ikari across the cold floor.   
  
***********************************  
  
-Lucky for them the First Aid Clinic was for the most part intact and was in much better shape than other parts of the building, it was a bit shaken up but a person couldn't tell an Angel stepped on it.   
  
"Doctor, why is Shinji acting like that?…….Its freaking me out"  
  
"Well……..to tell you the truth Ms. Katsuragi………I'm not a doctor and this is only First Aid TRAINING facility……..The instructor left to go eat his lunch……..which leaves me in charge" the trainee said while grinning sheepishly.  
  
"Then what the hell did you do?" the frustrated woman proclaimed,  
  
"I think I gave him too much morphine………he'll be fine in a little while so don't worry…..…he just wont be himself until then"   
  
" I CAN FLY!" Shinji said,  
  
" …..oy..………"   
  
***********************************  
  
" Hey Misato what took you so long…..…." Asuka said,  
  
" YOU"RE PRETTY…….….do YOU want to KISS ME!"   
  
" What the hell happened to him?!?!"  
  
"He's hopped up on drugs" Misato said, "He should just wear himself out"  
  
" I love YOU!!!!!" the pilot of unit one said as he lounged at the girl, but landing his face squarely on Asuka's fist.  
  
" That'll teach you not to ever.……...EVER touch me!!!!!!"  
  
-That day the young Shinji Ikari received his very first black eye and among other things like his very first lapse into unconsciousness outside the Eva.  
  
"Rei can you please go get us some ice…….….and while your at it get me some bee-……...I mean coffee……..LOTs of coffee……..and GUM too."  
  
"Yes Major" Rei said with no signs of her previous odd behavior   
  
***********************************  
  
-Almost an hour late, the small group of four finally made their way to suite 32, for their scheduled appointment with Dr. Morimoto. Upon entering the room the first thing a person would notice would be the seemingly never ending plaques, certificates, and awards covering the walls. Unless that person was male, then the first thing one would notice was the pretty girl at the reception desk.   
  
"Shinji……your drooling……."  
  
" ……..gah…….." Shinji said while gawking at the secretary,   
  
-The small but, cozy little greeting room had a couch on one side of the room and the reception desk opposite to the couch. The girl at the desk seemed oblivious to the visitors she had in the area, and had a good reason for it, being that her headphones were playing as loudly as possible.   
  
" We're here for the appointment….….is he ready to see us?"   
  
-Leaning back in the seat with eyes closed and humming to the music, Mana Krishkima was enjoying her lunch break. (Sorry don't know how to spell her last name…) Mana's face was full of disappointment; she had waited for forty-five minutes for the pilots to arrive. In anticipation of pilot of unit one, the girl had even cleaned up her work desk to impress the pilot.   
  
"Excuse me?……..we're here for the appointment……."Misato said a second time,  
  
-Usually the oak desk was very untidy and unkempt because she was only a high school intern and didn't actually work for Dr. Morimoto after all. There was no need to look professional and this internship was an easy grade for the class she was taking.   
  
" HEY! I'm Talking to YOU!" Misato said with a hint of anger in her voice"  
  
-Giving up on any hope that the pilots would show up, the girl went on her lunch break and being Shinji's biggest fan, she was more than a little upset that they didn't attend the meeting.   
  
"ALRIGHT……..enough of this!" infuriated Misato grabbed the girl and shook her violently, then proceeded to choking and then she just openly strangled her.   
  
"Misato!"  
  
"I'm going TO KILL YOU!!"   
  
" MISATO!" yelled Shinji   
  
" Sorry…….kinda overreacted" she said as released her hold on the girl   
  
Gasping for air, the secretary adjusted her blurry vision as she focused her eyes on a group of four, " ……...wheez…....wheez…….what the……wait aren't you….…"  
  
" We're here for our first session…..…."Shinji said.  
  
" OH my GOD! SHINJI IKARI!"   
  
"Huh? Yea……that's me……."  
  
"I'm YOUR BIGGEST fan" Mana said as she scrambled for something to write with. "CAN I have your AUTOGRAPH!"   
  
"Ummm….…sure"   
  
"THANK you….…you know…….your my hero" she said in a way that would make most guys melt,  
  
-What Shinji didn't realize was that Mana was giving him every possible signal that she was hitting on him.   
  
"Well it was nice meeting you……"  
  
-Upset that her charms had no effect on Shinji she lead them into the office and thought up a plan to grab his attention……..   
  
***********************************  
  
-Once inside the office, the four of them took a seat in each of their own chairs as they surveyed their new surroundings. Except for Misato. She was nervously pacing around the room, while chewing furiously on her bubble gum, to avoid thinking about her cravings. The office itself was about 5 times the size of the waiting room and had a welcoming feel to it. Glancing around there was no sign of Dr. Morimoto but one could hear a faint snoring sound echoing in the suite.  
  
"This guy must be rich………." Asuka said after observing the leather chairs and fine red wood table.  
  
"…….huh?…….oh you've finally arrived!!" the mysterious man said as he popped out from under the desk.  


-This had surprised the visitors but the shock had subdued and the pilots were now currently trying to pull Misato away from the doctor as she was strangling him.  


" You stupid jerk! You scared the shit out of me!!!!!"  


-The kids succeeded in calming her down while the mysterious man gasped for air and then adjusted his tie, while looking very exhausted.  
  
"What were you doing under a desk?" Asuka asked while holding on to Misato's left arm.  
  
"Sleeping under the desk is in fact good for your back" the mysterious man answered,   
  
-Upon seeing the mysterious man Shinji immediately recognized something familiar about the man but couldn't figure out what it was.   
  
"Who are you?"   
  
"My name is Dr. Morimoto……...you must be the pilots?"  
  
"That is correct" Rei said with no emotion in her voice  
  
"Sorry about being late, we had a few accidents on the way here"  
  
"…..…and you must be Major Katsuragi. I'm sorry that we had to go through that but……Ms. Katsuragi you no longer have to be here……."  


-Misato was already in her cheerful, carefree mood.  
  
" Well that's okay but wasn't this supposed to be a family counseling?"  


The doctor hesitated and stared at Misato. The way her mood shifted back and forth was very intriguing to the doctor...…....He shook his head and opened his mouth to answer her question.  
  
"The UN thought it would be better if it was just the pilots here and found it irrelevant to have the guardians here…….since you have other duties to attend to "  
  
"So my father isn't here?" the third child asked sounding disappointed,  
  
"It was your father who suggested the idea of him being here was meaningless."  
  
"……...I should have known better….…."  
  
"Well if that's the case…….I'm going to go to Starbucks and try to get my mind off alcohol" Misato said as she left in a hurry. (Is there a Starbucks in Japan?..…)   
.  
***********************************  
  
"All right lets begin…….first we'll play a game so I can get to know you better" Dr. Morimoto said as he put on his glasses, " ……and remember kids. "A HAPPY PILOT IS AN EFFECTIVE PILOT" he said with a big smile.  
  
" Okayyy…..."  
  
"I'll say a word and say the first thing that comes to mind"  
  
" GET on with it already!" Asuka said as she became inpatient.  
  
" Here we go……….Apple……"   
  
"RED"  
  
"Nourishment"  
  
"Loneliness"   
  
"That was good..…..now try……...Baseball bat……..."  
  
"HITTING"  
  
"Recreation"  
  
"Loneliness"  
  
"One more…….…Candle……."  
  
"FIRE!"  
  
"Light source"  
  
"Loneliness"  
  
" Ok, That was interesting………lets try something else…...." he said as he took some notes.  
  
************************************  
  
"..Ummm…….can ask what this game has to do with you getting to know us better?" Shinji questioned,   
  
"Shinji, everything I do has a purpose"  
  
"You're a Freak'N nut….…"  
  
" Ms. Sorhyu, please relax and just try to enjoy the game" the doctor said while rubbing his temple.  
  
"ENJOY! Don't tell me what to do OLD MAN!"  
  
"Asuka I'm hurt……..I thought most people your age played Dance Dance Revolution."  
  
" ……….. "  
  
************************************  
  
"This is pointless….…"  
  
"Come on, Ms. Sorhyu even Ms. Ayanami is enjoying herself" the shrink observed,  
  
"I'll KICK YOUR ASS old MAN!"  
  
"That's the spirit Rei!"   
  
"Maybe-be we should stop…….Ayanami is starting to scare me" Shinji begged,  
  
"I'll Kick YOUR ASS TOO, IKARI!"  
  
"Rei its just a game…….."Asuka said,  
  
"You're just saying that because YOU'RE LOSING!" Rei boasted,  
  
"THIS GAME IS EVIL!!!!!……I must DESRTROY IT!!" Shinji said as he picked up the game and prepared to throw it across the room, " AHHHH!!!!! ITS GOT MY FINGER!"  
  
" I'm surrounded by idiots….…" The second child said as she watched on in disgust,  
  
"IT'S possessed!"   
  
-Shinji frantically ran around the room trying to get the foreign object of his finger, but only succeeded in knocking over the lamp and the book self.   
  
"This is the last time I ever play Connect Four with you guys…" Asuka grumbled,  
  
-To be continued.......  
  
***********************************  
  
  
  
  
Jay's Author's notes: Did you hate it? Did you luv it? Tell us…….review! Flames, criticisms, and helpful pointers are welcomed with open arms as I strive to become a better writer…but be gentle. This only my second try with novel format. Now to end it all with a quote……….…  
  
" Someone once told me that you should always end with a quote to make yourself sound smarter….…"   
  
  
-Jay Jay


	2. Chapter 2: Aftermath

-Disclaimer- I do not own Evangelion or any of its characters, Evangelion is the property of Gainex. This Fan-fiction has been created for entertainment purposes only. 

************************************************

Psycho Analysis

Chapter 2 

-Within the enclosed walls of suite 32 there was an eerie calm as the two female Evangelion pilots faced off with unblinking eyes, neither of them moving a muscle. The intense stare one was giving was completely opposite to the calm demeanor of the other. Curiosity got the better of some people and several stopped to watch the event unfold. A small audience made up, of a FedEx delivery guy, the entire custodian staff, plus a window washer all watched in anticipation.

" Your move first child…" The fiery red head said,

-Dr. Morimoto watched on, taking every detail in his notebook and the onlookers whispered amongst themselves as they too watched the grudge match take place. The competition was fierce as this contest of ability and skill was nearing its end. Up to this point the bout was fast paced and each side quickly traded shots, then it all came down to a final standstill. One mistake or false move could be the difference between victory and defeat. 

"I am well aware Pilot Sorhyu" Rei said

-Knowing that she was clearly at disadvantage; Rei rethought her strategy and pursued a different path towards her ultimate goal of triumph. 

"Well you sure are taking your sweet time…" Asuka said sounding bored,

-No one in the entire room realized how nervous Asuka actually was as she showed a great deal of confidence on the outside but, on the inside she was worried, constantly questioning herself, looking for every possible opening and also trying to anticipate the girl's next move. 

-To everyone's astonishment Rei in one action shifted the game in her favor and devastated Ms. Sorhyu's defensive strategy. 

" Typical move, first child…." Asuka mused, grinning widely 

-The second child, was cunning and sly, she had already anticipated the attack long before, moreover she was ready to end the game there and now.

" Whoops……..looks like times up!" The shrink reminded, " The first session is over…..our next appointment is next week"

" Wait!……I have to finish the game!" Asuka begged,

" You'll just have to wait for the next session" Dr. Morimoto pointed out,

-No sooner he said that, he signed the release form for the FedEx delivery guy, gave the window washer a dirty look then closed the blinds, and kicked out whoever was left in the room. 

**********************************

-Outside the office was an angry red head furious at the fact she couldn't finish the game and prove that she in actuality was superior to her long time rival Rei Ayanami. 

" This isn't over first child….….you can count on that….." Asuka vowed,

"Oh come on Asuka, you said it your self, they're just games" The third child said,

-Interrupting Shinji, Rei said her good-byes and departed for the Geo-Front. 

" I am needed at the Geo-front…" The pilot of unit zero stated as she left the pint-size waiting room,

-After she had left saying her……..good-byes? An awkward silence was developing between pilot Ikari and pilot Sorhyu. The shy Japanese boy was sensing some bitterness in his fellow pilot. Offering some words of concern was not a deed he was use to doing……..so…….he did the next best thing….. 

"Yeah we better go too…..uhhh..….we still need to….do…….the…grocery shopping" Shinji said,

"…..fine….whatever……"

-Before leaving the room Shinji took notice that the secretary wasn't there at the desk and no where in the room. He was partly disappointed because, she sure was easy on the eyes. Trying to make the best out of an odd situation, he thought it best to say something before complete silence would envelop both of them. 

"Hey……..uhh…….Asuka did you notice that Ayanami was acting strangely today?"

"……..No lets get out of here……"

" All right then, we better get going anyway." Shinji sighed as they both left 

for the market place."

-When it comes down to it…….Shinji needed more practice with expressing concern and putting it into coherent words.

********************************** 

-Elsewhere on the streets of Tokyo 3, an old and busted up Honda Civic was trying to make its way towards the very same building the pilots were leaving from. Pushing the vehicle to its limits, Mana desperately tried to get to the office before Shinji left. 

" What a piece of crap………can't this thing go any faster."

*********************************

-Also on the streets of Tokyo 3, a worn out blue sports car was coming from the psychiatrist office with Shinji and Asuka as passengers. Both the pilots knew that since Misato was in the driver's seat it was best not to say anything that would anger her further.

-Misato had just come from what she thought……….was Starbucks and was on her way to pick up Shinji and Asuka. Apparently……there isn't a Starbucks in Japan and therefore she was frustrated that the manager kept insisting that she was in a seven-eleven. 

-Using her exceptional skills as a master debater (say that five times fast) …..… she won the argument …………….by pulling out her gun and firing several shots at the cash register. The problem was, after all the effort she used her beloved caffeine drink was not obtained. 

-Fearing for his life, the manger huddled in a corner and began to cry………leaving Misato to fend for herself. The cappuccino maker was a complicated machine for someone who was in her state of mind…….and out of anger she opened fire on the defenseless drink machine. 

-Not bothering to just plug it in she destroyed the last thing that would keep her rational. So, to get her mind of beer she decided she would drive as fast and as recklessly as possible.

" I wonder why every ones driving SO DAM SLOW?!??……….HEY! That looks like the secretary from Dr. Morimoto's office! I'll go say HELLO!" Ms. Katsuragi said, 

***********************************

-Seeing a certain blue sports car coming directly towards her, Mana swerved desperately trying to avoid the blur of light. To no avail she crashed into a street pole anyway and lost all hope of getting to Shinji in time. Although she was unscathed by the impact, her car was a complete wreck. 

" DAM YOU HONDA and YOUR UGLY CARS!!!!" she yelled,

-More than upset, Mana began expressing her anger and rage as she acquired a heavy two by four, which was just lying around. Proceeding to savagely beat what was left of her hunk of junk, she soon conceived that the two by four was far too heavy for her particular physique. 

-Sighing in defeat, she gave up and sat along the side of the road as others slowed down to have a look at the accident but had no consideration to stop. Just as she got comfortable, her car burst into flames and so she watched on wondering how she was going to get home.

-As soon as the young intern sat down the very same sports car that caused her to crash pulled up along side her. She tried to make out who the driver was, but the tinted window prevented anyone to see who was inside. Rolling to a stop, the driver opened the window, surprising Mana.

"HI THERE!…..I remember you from the waiting room!" Misato said,

-Mana's first reaction to Misato was a starting yelp, and then she squinted her eyes to get a look at who it was. What she saw was smiling Misato but it wasn't just any smile it was the kind of smile that crazy people had. 

"Oh, hi Ms. Katsuragi……." 

" We haven't been properly introduced!…….what's your name?" Misato exclaimed,

"Oh you can just call me Mana……"

"Mana it is! Well see yah later!!!" the major said as she resumed her rampage, 

-The engine roared as the car returned to the flow of traffic. The headlights blinded the other drivers as Misato skillfully maneuvered herself into doing a couple doughnuts in the middle of the road. 

" WAIT!!!! GIVE ME A RIDE!……" Mana pleaded,

-The guardian did not take notice that Mana was stranded and could sure have had used her help. So Mana perched herself atop a nice looking brick wall and then she hoped that a person was gracious enough to stop for her.

" It's gonna be one of those nights………" she whispered to herself, 

***********************************

-Being in Dr. Morimoto office all day long took its toll on the young Eva pilots, the three of them had been in the office for almost eight hours. Once they left, it didn't take long for the sun to set. In fact inside the car was a sleeping Shinji and Asuka sitting in the back seat. As luck would have it, Shinji was not awake to see the girl he was thinking about ever since he had seen her. The poor boy thought that Mana just wanted an autograph and nothing more.

" HEY WAKE UP!" the major yelled,

-Misato's mad driving frenzy had satisfied her impulse to drink but it was starting to lose its effect. So what better way to get her mind on something else, than to eat until she passed out. Rather than getting her own food she forced Shinji and Asuka to the shopping.

" Here's a five hundred yen GET ME some FOOD!" Misato ordered, 

-Seeing that pleading with the operation's director would resolve nothing, they took the money and the two very tired teens stumbled out of the car. While they walked towards the market, Shinji some how managed to get a shopping cart and get to the entrance without falling asleep on the spot.

" You there, you look like a kind and generous person." A voice said, 

-Looking up from his downward gaze, he saw that it was a man holding a small bucket. He took note that this was someone he didn't know; as a result he dismissed the thought that the man was talking to him. He began to push his cart once again but the man stepped in front of him. 

" You sir, I can see it in your eyes, I can see that you're a kind person." 

" Really? " Shinji said,

" Yes, I can tell that you are a gentle person who yearns to care for others" the man explained,

" Wow…….no one ever told me that before" Shinji said sounding baffled,

" Please if you care for others you must help me" the man pleaded

" How can help?" Shinji responded

***********************************

-Asuka had already entered the shop and began to browse the store leaving Shinji with the man outside. She found the magazine isle and started to rummage through the magazines. Annoyed that she could find nothing she liked she went back outside to find Shinji. 

***********************************

" Please spare as much money as you can for the hungry children of the world, kind sir." The man pleaded,

" Of, course anything to help….." Shinji said as he pulled out one hundred yen,

" Is THAT it! Surely some one as kind as you would give MORE! The man said,

-Shinji thought for a moment, then thought about the repercussions of spending all the food money on this and what would happen when he got home to a very angry Misato. After much thought his decision was not to give the money because he did not want to face the wrath of his guardian. 

" I can't give you anymore money that's all I can spare" the boy tried to explained, 

" THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!" The man protested,

" I really can't help you…." Shinji muttered,

" BE reasonable WOULDN'T you be hungry if you haven't eaten for A whole YEAR! The man said,

"I'm really sorry…..I jus-…"

" If you don't help THE…….CHILDREN!! WHO ELSE WILL!" the man said interrupting the Eva pilot, " WHO's going to SAVE the CHILDREN!!" 

"….I want to help you bu-…"

-Before the young teen could finish his sentence the strange man shoved the plastic bucket in his face.

" SMELL IT, that's the SOUND of pain and suffering from the Hungry children!" the crazed man said, " LOOK at its emptiness!"

" Wait…….what?" Shinji questioned,

-Just then the shopkeeper stepped out followed by Asuka who bought herself a candy bar on her way out. The red head was surprised at what she saw, which was Shinji up against a wall with a bucket in his face.

" HEY, You get out of here you PUNK!" the shopkeeper yelled, 

-The crazed man dropped his bucket and ran away a fast as he could leaving behind the hundred yen.

" Sorry about that……that guy comes around here every so often to try and con his way into getting money from unsuspecting people." The shopkeeper said,

"What….was that all about Shinji?" Asuka said,

"Let's just do the shopping before I get attacked by a monkey or something" Shinji said,

***********************************

-Shopping was simple all they had to do was get as much junk food as possible and in no time they were done, then they called up Misato for a ride back home. The major was more than happy with all the food and she started eating while driving.

" MMFFffmmmmm!!"

" Hey you guys got Pickled Wasabi Horse MEAT!"

"….Oh……they're asleep…..MORE FOR ME!" 

-Inside the car, the two pilots were once again heavy with sleep and before long they arrived home shopping bags in hand. 

"MMMHHffff…….Before you guys got to bed remember,……-HMMfff…..that tomorrow is your next appointment-…..MfaammaaFF"

-For Asuka and Shinji it was a long day and they both went to their own rooms falling fast asleep, also ignoring what ever Misato was mumbling as she spoke with her mouth full of food. 

***********************************

-Else where in a random dark alley, Mana tried to find her way back to the clinic so she can find her way home from there. She was both exhausted and afraid as she tried to focus her thoughts on something else rather then her current state. It was also a bit chilly and she was in her shorts while wearing a tight shirt, which she thought would really impress Shinji. 

-She sighed as she thought about the boy. She would have given anything for him to notice her or at least to look at her cleavage or something. But now look at her. She was stuck in this cold, dark alley with nothing to protect herself with. And who knows how many perverts are right out there in the shadows, waiting to rape her? Simply, Mana wasn't having a good day.

-Then out of nowhere, she felt a slight breeze and the sound of someone's footsteps from behind her. Then, she shrieked as she felt someone tap on her shoulder. She jumped up in the air and turned around to take a look at the stranger.

"Who....who are you!!" Mana yelled at the stranger.

-The man came out of the shadows and he smiled at her as his teeth shined brightly under the moonlight. Then he slowly put his hands inside his yellow trench coat...

-Mana gulped and started to shiver from fear. She slowly backed away, until she was up against the wall and he slowly advanced towards her with his hand still inside his coat. He continued to do so, until he was only a few steps away from her. Grinning, he jerked his hand out of the inner pocket of his trench coat and whipped out his......

Bucket?

"You look like a nice person, lady. Would you like to help out the hungry children? It'll only cost you a couple of hundred yen?"

'Wha......what the hell is this?" Mana thought as she looked at the man with disbelief.

"Do…..do you realize how much you scared me?" Mana asked a she failed to compose herself and stuttered like a frightened child.

" Huh?" the strange man said,

-The man withdrew his bucket away from her face as Mana stepped on his foot and repeatedly threw jabs at the man's chin. She then spinned around and let him have it on the crotch with her tornado kick, which sent him flying higher then any birds.

" YOU DO NOT MESS WITH ME YOU CREEP!!!!!!" Mana yelled as she looked up at the night sky. The echoes of her voice sent the neighbor dogs into a howling madness, until she yelled again for the stupid dogs to shut the hell up.

-And as soon as everything got quiet, she began to walk towards the direction of the clinic, while she tried to warm herself by rubbing her body with the palm of her hands.

"Damn its chilly."

To be continued….

***********************************

Jay's author's notes: Did you hate it? Did you Love it? Tell ME! REVIEW!

Well that was the second chapter and originally this was SUPPOSE to be a serious story full of drama and angst. How it turned out to be this…..really proves I can't be serious for one second. Anyway I am really happy I got some half-decent reviews this time, but feel free to flame if I'm doing something wrong or if you just feel like it. 

If you haven't noticed yet there IS OOC in the story BUT not that much…..and its just mostly Rei……If you think that the other characters are a bit OOC its because they reflect the manga mostly, not the series. So don't kill me because I'm not bashing the characters.

I thank Arucard the Rouge vampire for pre-reading, helping me with parts of the story, cooking my food, washing my car and loaning me all that money. 

Yet again, a quote to end the chapter……..

" If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

-Unknown


	3. Chapter 3: School days

-Disclaimer- I do not own Evangelion or any of its characters, Evangelion is the property of Gainex. This Fan-fiction has been created for entertainment purposes only. 

************************************************

Psycho Analysis

Chapter 3 

" How much time do we have left? " Shinji asked,

" `bout 20 minutes left" Kensuke said,

" Don't worry Ikari, we gots lots of time" Toji said,

-It was a Monday afternoon and since it was Monday that meant school. And another day of school was another day of hell. The only sanctuary was a time of day that most people call lunch, but it was never long enough.

" What's on your mind Ikari?" Toji asked

" Yeah….you haven't even touched your food yet" Ken said

" Huh?…..Oh I was just thinking ……..you can have my lunch if you want." The third child replied,

" Can't tell us because its about the Eva's…eh?" the Otaku said,

-Moving away from his leaning position on the guard rail, Shinji took two steps back to get a better view of the school yard. The roof of the school was the trios regular hang out spot, high above the ground, away from the other students. Stretching out his arms and letting out a loud yawn he did a quick 180, then fell back on the guard rail. 

With his back against the metal rail Shinji answered, " No……I feel like I'm forgetting something…."

" Ikari, Where is pilot Sorhyu?" Rei said frightening the three boys 

" Don't sneak up on me like that!" Toji said while choking on Shinji's sandwich,

" Pilot Sorhyu?……oh crap……." Shinji sighed as he mentally slapped himself,

*********************************

-Shrouded in darkness Misato's apartment was completely silent except the sound of the wind howling, the busy traffic outside, and the most annoying noise coming from a broken clock. So it wasn't exactly silent, but it was more silent than usual screaming of the human residents. And one might ask if the walls of the apartment could talk, what would they say about the people living there?..…….well the answer is………walls can't talk, so don't even bother trying to talk to the walls or any wall. (Its just a waste of time…..BELEIVE ME….I KNOW) 

-Being exhausted, the two teens were thrown out of there normal routine and with one small mistake the entire order of events were pretty screwed up. Every morning Shinji woke up to his alarm then, he would then follow a precise set of steps. First he himself would get ready after he prepared the breakfast for his room mates. Once he finished placing the final dish, which was Pen-pen's fish, he made the lunches. Lastly he would turn on the TV for the daily news.

-The mistake he made was not turning on the TV and without TV Pen-pen wouldn't wake up to watch TV. Then Pen-pen wouldn't turn on the air conditioner, then the cold air wouldn't awaken Misato. Without Misato, the radio she turned on would be off, which wouldn't piss off Asuka and wake her up. 

" ZZZZZzzzzzzz"

" zzzzz…GrAWk……zzzzz"

" ::burp::zzzzzzz"

********************************* 

" Boy….I am gonna get it this time" Shinji grumbled,

" Cheer up Shinji at least you didn't forget anything else" Toji said still chewing on Shinji's sandwich,

" Shinji, have you forgotten about our appointment with the doctor" Rei said,

" DAMIT……." Shinji said while banging his head against the rail,

"Are you sick or something Shinji?" Toji said with a mouthful of food,

" No…….all pilots have to report to Dr. Morimoto for some kind of counseling" 

" HEY! I'M A PILOT!" Toji said spitting a big chunk of beef in Rei's eye, "Why doesn't anyone tell me about these THINGS?!"

" Toji you're spitting on everyon-"

" Don't INTERUPT ME KENSUKE, when I'm trying to point something out!" Toji said as he paced back and forth waving his sandwich in the air, " Why I AM I ALWAYS THE LAST TO KNOW?!"

-For a good seven minutes Toji gave a speech about how everyone always ignored him. As usual no one was paying attention to what he was saying, but that really didn't matter. Toji was one of those people who liked the sound of their own voice. The little speech that Suzuhara gave, made Shinji hungry and he started to regret giving his lunch away.

* grumble *

-And it showed.

" Hey, You hungry?" Toji opened up his bento and gave Shinji a bowl of Ramen, " Try some of my world famous……Crapple Noodles!"

" Crapple noodles?" Shinji said with a hint of fear in his voice,

-Toji was also one of those people who didn't have the time, to waste time. The fourth child had a busy life, he was very active in sports and plus he spent a lot of time with his sister at the hospital. Saving time was a must, so rather than have a drink and some food in his bento…….he'd shove all the food in a blender and create the nastiest food you've ever seen. Even though it was a great time saver……….it tastes like…….

" CRAPple noodles!" Toji said " you mean you never heard of my Crapple noodles?!"

" Heheh…….no, don't think I have" third child said, 

" You're missin' out man!" Toji said as he took of the lid to reveal the infamous Crapple Noodle, " Do you wanna know what it's made out of?"

" I'm afraid to ask….." Shinji said as he hung his head

" Well……what it's made out of is a mixture of Instant Ramen and…….some of my special juice."

" Special juice?" Shinji said looking a little green,

- When Toji wasn't looking Shinji tossed the noodles over his shoulder and spilling it on a bunch of unsuspecting kids. It was definitely the right thing to do although, sadly those kids would forever be known as……the smelly Crapple kids.( I know it has nothing to do with the story, but oh well) The whole time this was happening Rei was sitting silently against the rail with the piece of beef still in her eye and Kensuke was throwing his best pick up lines at her.

" Are your parents terrorists?" Ken said

" ……no……." Rei said

" BECAUSE you're the bomb!" Ken said

" …………."

-Rei was in her own little world and there was nothing Kensuke could say or do to get her attention. As if the pick up lines even had a chance at anything at all. 

" Has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful eyes?" Ken said

"……..no…….."

" I could get lost in those eyes of yours." Ken said

"………….."  


********************************

-After the crapple incident, Shinji had convinced Toji that he finished the crapple noodles. Using his slick moves, Ikari acted like he had just eaten the best noodles he ever tasted and faked the smile of satisfaction on his face. 

" Hey what happen to the crapple noodles?" Toji said looking around aimlessly for his cooking disaster,

" I ate them" Shinji quickly said, 

" Hey, so what did you think of the taste?……..and where's the bowl?" 

-Puzzled, Toji searched for the bowl and began to doubt that the third child actually ate it. Looking around he saw nothing strange except for Kensuke actually trying to put the moves on Rei…….and getting shot down every time.

" I ate it…." Shinji said

" …..really? " 

" …uh…..yea…." Shinji said trying to play it smooth,

-Instead of dwelling on the subject for long, Toji thought up a plan to get Shinji out of trouble. Some how they needed to wake up Misato and Asuka…….without actually waking them up. If the two of them woke up to find out that Shinji left the house and completely forgot about them would be a very painful experience. 

" Okay……I got it!" Toji said

" ……got what?" Shinji sighed,

" The Plan!" Suzuhara said full of confidence. 

" ……..wait, no hypnosis Toji….. "

" Dam……..but I saw it work on TV…….the TV never lies Shinji!"

"No…." 

"…..Fine……Plan B!"

" I'm soooooo, going to regret this…." Ikari said as he had a bad feeling about the whole thing,

" This is what were gonna need: some magnets, peanut butter, a trash can lid and an ace of hearts." The fourth child said,

-Toji was well known for his elaborate plans that made absolutely no sense until the very end, surely reasonable people would steer clear of things like this. Unfortunately, Shinji Ikari the son of one of the most powerful men on earth, is a complete wimp.

*********************** 

-To make things short the plan failed…….

***********************

" You think she's mad?" Toji said

" YES."

" She can't kill us, can she?….I mean we're pilots……..they NEED us."

"Shush……she's coming…."

-The swung open, shining in a bright light into the dark room. Misato walked in holding a box, followed by two cleanly dressed men in Nerv issued suits. The box she was holding looked like an ordinary shoe box except for a blue pin stripe across the top. With a serious face Major Katsuragi handed the box to Shinji and Toji. And being the smart one, Kensuke did not get involved in their little plan. Rei well….nobody ever knows where Rei is.

-Curiously, the third child examined the box and wondered what it was for. He then looked to his guardian and then to the two Nerv agents for an answer. The Nerv agents smirked and left the room closing the door behind them. Dumbfounded, the pilot of unit 1 looked to his fellow pilot and the fourth child only shrugged.

" What is it?" Shinji said,

" Open it….." Misato grinned devilishly

" Hey…..its only a box full of scissors" Toji said,

"EXACTLY……." Misato smirked,

" Huh?…." they both said in unison

-With a demonic laugh followed by a cold stare, she issued the punishment for what they did.

" I want you to mow the lawn."

" But what are the scissors for?……….hold on a sec………..…no…..no….NO!" Shinji moaned realizing the grim truth,

" Misato your not actually asking us to do what I think you want us to do? Right?" Toji asked hoping for the best,

" YUP."

" Hey but wait, you guys don't even have a lawn, you live in an apartment." Toji proclaimed,

" heh……not my lawn, Nerv's main office LAWN."

"…….Dear God……." Shinji said horrified.

-Those who are unfamiliar with the size of the Nerv office front lawn and want to know how big it is……should know its pretty freak'n big. It was clear from the beginning that the boys had their hands full and if you add the fact they were using scissors it seemed almost impossible. But what could they do? If they disobeyed direct orders from a superior, they get thrown in the brig and they couldn't run because they were under the surveillance of Nerv's many cameras. So….what did they do? 

*********************************

" Okay…..I'll get the east side……you get the west side….." Shinji sobbed as he surveyed the how much yard work they were gonna do,

" lets get started…….hand me a pair of scissors" Toji grumbled,

-Handing Toji a pair of scissors and a pair for himself, he began on his side of the lawn. By this time the sun was setting and the two boys became silhouettes in the red glow of the setting sun. As the night came, the sun disappeared into the distance and the darkness extinguished the remaining light. The quiet sounds of evening echoed. People then began to return to their homes, preparing for the new day to come. And when tomorrow comes, the sun rises consuming the darkness. 

" Yah know what Shinji……" 

" What? " Shinji said,

" Misato could have given us better scissors…..you can't even cut paper with this plastic crap." Toji grumbled some more,

" Toji……shut up…..you're ruining the moment……."

To be continued………

******************************** 

Jay's Author notes: Did yah hate it? Did you love it? TELL ME! Review!

It's been probably almost 6 months since the last time I wrote something so I'm kinda rusty. And anything I write is all for funs so, don't take any of it seriously. ( I'm talking to you hard core fans who think I'm bashing characters and stuff like that.) 

I think you want to know what crapple noodles is……..well lets just say that it came from a Sunday afternoon when all that was in the fridge was cranberry juice and instant ramen in the pantry. There we were, my friends and I mixing expired Ramen with cranberry juice. As scary as it sounds, we ate it and if you want to know what it tastes like…….be my guest to try.

Now words of wisdom…….

" ONLY YOU, can prevent forest fires"

-Smoky the bear


End file.
